With more and more women postponing motherhood by choice, compounded by a society that puts very little value on reproductive health education, I see so many women who find themselves in deep distress and panic about their fertility and/or family planning. It’s super common for issues surrounding fertility to cause anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, relationship issues, panic attacks, even secondary stress and anxiety symptoms, such as hives, insomnia, digestive upset, headaches, or chronic pain.
Especially if you are in your late 30s or early 40s, or if you’ve been diagnosed with some form of infertility, then fertility panic may have set in suddenly. Even for those who previously were convinced they didn’t want kids, a crisis may seemingly come out of no where and can be a confusing and painful experience.
If you are currently feeling yourself in the depths of a freak out, please know this: you are not alone and you are not broken. This is incredibly common, just age or a diagnosis alone does not mean you can't get pregnant, and even if it does, your worthiness is not dependent on your reproductive capability alone. If your panic is centered around the not knowing if you want kids or not, know that with time and introspection - and hopefully some therapy - the answer will come to you. Your path will light up before you in time, you don't have to figure everything out right at this moment.
Having supported several women through such crises, I can tell you there's no magic trick to make it all disappear, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer as to what to do. Every journey to build a family, or the decision not to, is unique to those who experience it. But I can tell you there are several things that may support you during and help you through this difficult time.